Hartford Monthly Meeting
Religious Society of Friends
May, 2005

“We need, in love, to practice only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily: we do not need to learn it.” Rainer Marie Rilke

Calendar

May 1 Quarterly Meeting, Northampton, MA (see inside)
May 8 Hospitality Lunch
May 15 Meeting for Business
May 22 11th Hour on Friends United Meeting Personnel Policy (see inside)
May 29 Family Meeting
June 5 11th hour Chris Doucot of Hartford Catholic Worker will talk about his recent trip to Darfur, Sudan
July 2-9 Weaving the Blessed Tapestry, Friends General Conference 2005 Gathering, Blacksburg, VA.
Aug 6-11 New England Yearly Meeting Sessions at Bryant College, Smithfield, RI
Sep 16-18 Hartford Monthly Meeting Retreat, Litchfield, CT

Meeting for Worship is held every First Day at 10 am.
Mid-week Worship Thursday at 7 pm in the Williams Room.

ALL ARE WELCOME AT ANY OF THESE GATHERINGS

Milestones
Anne Gair-MacMichael has taken the position of Director of a Cooperative Camp in Michigan. She has begun work there. The rest of the family will not relocate immediately. Kiri graduates from Watkinson High School in June.

Gerry LaChance's father died recently.

Carolann and Ray Boucher have a new home on a pond.

Jeff Russell is currently en route to Vancouver on a driving trip in his recently converted vegetable-oil powered vehicle. He plans to visit Quaker meetings en route.

If you have milestones to share—life events that you want to share with the meeting community, please send information to newsletter editor: randalldiane@sbcglobla.net. Deadline for June newsletter is May16.

Friendly Disposal of Old Sneakers -from Anna Moberly
It is that time of year to clean out your closets (and those of your friends and neighbors too) so that we can load the dumpster with sneakers. The soles of sneakers can be ground up and recombined to create a soft, durable playground surface known as "Nikegrind." I'll be collecting sneakers in a bag near the food collection bin through early June.

NEW E-MAIL MANAGEMENT
I will be taking on the responsibility of managing the two Meeting email lists. Please let me know if you have any requests, problems or suggestions and I will try to help. The best email address to reach me is wayneboulton01@yahoo.com. Wayne Boulton

2nd Annual Medical Clinic Benefit Concert Friday April 29, 7:30 pm
Friends might be interested to know that folk singer Hugh Blumenfeld will be performing a benefit concert at the meetinghouse sharing the evening with blues singer and songwriter Tim Goslee.. All are welcome! The med students at UConn have set up traveling clinics to treat hundreds of seasonal workers at the region's tobacco and fruit farms. All students and attending physicians volunteer their time. Suggested donation: $15 / $10 students

Friends United Meeting (FUM) Personnel Policy—11th Hour Topic: May 22
Led by Martin Wheeler and Caroline Webster
At NEYM sessions last summer, Friends approved a minute of exercise on FUM’s personnel policy. The concern regards the policy of Friends United Meeting to exclude non-celibate gays and lesbians and unmarried heterosexual couples from leadership roles. NEYM Ministry and Counsel Committee has been considering this issue in the last 8 months and is now bringing it to monthly meetings for discussion.

Hartford Monthly Meeting Meeting for Worship for Business 4/17/2005

Twenty Friends gathered in silence at 11:40 am to begin the Meeting for Business.

Worship and Ministry Diane Weinholtz read the State of the Society report:

Hartford Monthly Meeting State of Society Report
April 2005
The State of Society Report is based on responses by members and attenders concerning four questions reflected on in small discussion groups over several weeks. In addition, we discussed some issues via an email conversation initiated by one of our members. The first set of questions addressed the Meeting as a spiritual community: What does it mean to be part of this spiritual community? How has it helped you? How has it challenged you? How does the experience of worship extend into the course of your week? Many Friends expressed a powerful connection with Meeting, which nourished them on Sunday as well as throughout the week. One Friend stated, "It is infinitely meaningful to be part of this spiritual community, and it has helped me in immense ways." Another shared, "I continue to find Meeting for Worship to be a powerful experience. There is a synergy that works. Someone will rise to speak and it is part of what I think or it moves me in a different direction." The reading of Queries on the First Sundays was noted as an important addition to our practice. An older Friend shared, "It is nourishing to return here each week after being challenged during the week. It is reassuring, as I grow older to see younger folks being challenged. The challenges have been worth it." A Young Friend shared, "When I find myself frustrated with society, I can center down to find God and peace." Another adult Friend shared a sentiment that echoed the concerns and questions of some of our members, "I have a strong sense of spirituality from the Meeting. But I miss the older members of the Meeting like Helen Brill and Moses Bailey. Why are we so afraid to share our very deep feelings with each other? We need to be more willing to share. I think there is a fear of criticism. There is a sense that we are in a time of change and growth due to these issues. We are being challenged to determine how Meeting is changing and growing." While we feel blessed by our involvement with the Meeting community there is also a discomfort, which pushes us forward to continue seeking, and growing. One Friend said, "I come for the challenge. It goes with me because I am a Quaker work in progress. There is integrity in this community, which is in closer alignment with Christian principles." Another shared, "In the Meeting I feel challenged to try harder. If I am uncomfortable that is good. It is a positive experience that carries me through the week."

The second set of questions included: Are we addressing the challenges of our time, our environment, the war in Iraq, poverty and racism, same gender marriage? Are we participating in wider Quaker circles and witnessing in the wider community? As we discussed these questions it became clear many Friends are involved as individuals in areas of social action in their professional lives. "I really am carrying the meeting into my work. I wouldn't be doing the work that I am doing if I didn't have the nurture of the Meeting. I couldn't do it without the guidance of Spirit which is part of the Meeting. When I wander the halls of the courthouse or meet the victims of domestic violence, I am doing work of compassion which is rooted in this community." Another Friend shared, "It extends into my work week, every week. When I teach my courses in American Studies and Professional Ethics, I find myself teaching to Quaker concerns in everything I do. It would not be that way, if not for my family's involvement in this Meeting and New England Yearly Meeting."

There is a frustration in not being able to be involved in all of the issues of the times, but we know others represent us when we cannot be present. "We are many people out there doing good things but at times it feels scattered. How do we choose?" Another Friend shared, "The Meeting may need a project to pull us together, but we are all doing separate good things. Who would pull us all together? How do we define what it means to be a Meeting? People are doing a lot of good things, but not in concert with the Meeting." There are times when we do come together for projects, for example when we raised money for three houses in Afghanistan. There is no question, that the ongoing war in Iraq has saddened, angered and made us feel disempowered and ineffective.

The next set of questions asked: "Are we addressing the needs of our whole community? Of newcomers? Of the elderly? Of our young adults? Of our children and families? Of our singles? Of all and any of us?

These questions generated a variety of responses from all different age groups. One Young Friend shared, "I feel cherished and loved at Meeting which helps me not feel alone when out in the mainstream of society." Another Young Friend expressed concern, "There are too few intergenerational gatherings. The Young Friends are too segregated and we don't know about anybody else." Some Young Friends feel disconnected from the adult Meeting and do not want to attend Meeting for Worship on Sunday mornings. They would like the adults to come to them and talk with them.

One older Friend stated, "For older folks, it is good for us to have contact with younger folks. It is important to be part of an intergenerational spiritual group. It is part of our lives." "It is good for young people whose grandparents aren't near to have older people here." A Young Adult Friend shared her experience, " When I first came to Meeting several years ago, I felt off center because so much of Meeting is family based. But in recent years, I feel a part of things and people reach out to me. Now if I see a family event advertised and if it says everyone is welcome, I know I am welcome." Our bi-annual retreat is a crucial factor in intergenerational relationships. It is a time for all ages to interact for fun and fellowship. In addition, there are concerns about how effectively we welcome newcomers and the need to continually reach out to everyone who comes to worship with us.

We are grateful for the fine work of committees like Pastoral Care which reaches out to the elderly by providing rides to Meeting and Religious Education which reaches out and nurtures our children. But we recognize that such committees are stretched and need help with the work. At this time we are stressed by the demands of the upkeep and repair of the Meetinghouse and adjacent properties. We note that our contributions were significantly lower than budgeted this past year.

The last set of questions queried: "In what ways is this Meeting being led/called to grow, stretch or deepen? How is the spirit moving among us?

Within our Meeting we are blessed with a diversity of beliefs about who we are as individuals as well as a community. We are constantly being called to listen to each other honestly, openly and lovingly so that we can more deeply understand. We have discussions about "spiritual expression and openness about God and Jesus." Some have expressed disappointment about the lack of depth of our spirituality. Others are disturbed by some intolerance for differing views. For some, "deepening" is a call to listen. For others, "Deepening is part of making our beliefs central to everything we do in our lives." We want to become clear about what we believe individually and together, and then be willing to share openly with each other and with others outside of our Meeting. "I sometimes wonder if it isn't hard for the new elders to realize they are now assuming the roles of those they always looked up to. The challenge is to keep attending and take responsibility in the continuing search." Our new members as well as our long time Friends help us to grow, stretch and deepen and to feel the Spirit moving among us.

The Meeting seems to be evolving in many ways. We are challenged by the changing lives of our members and increasing outside demands on our time. Many members expressed concern about a small group of people shouldering the major portion of the work because it is harder to get volunteers as individuals find themselves caught between the demands of family, Meeting and professional responsibilities. Nominating committee has had trouble filling slots on committees, especially for clerking positions, while other committees have had a hard time just finding time when everyone could meet.

An attender wisely instructed us, "As a new participant, recognize how wonderful you are. Don't be too hard on yourselves. You are an amazing community. The walk matches the talk. It is a burden to be a Quaker because the bar is set so high. To be followers of Jesus is hard to do but I see it here on Sundays and throughout the week in your lives, more than in any other group I have been a part of. I rejoice in that."

Thanks were expressed to Diane and to the Committee for their hard work in preparing the report, which was accepted by the Meeting.

Library Emily Chasse reported on new additions to the collection, including the newest Teaching Tolerance video "The Children's March," which won an Academy Award for best documentary. Emily will type library accession cards on a weekly schedule.

Treasurer Tim Allen reported an extraordinary month of unexpected income, including an additional $20,755.77 from the estate of Virginia Hicks, a $1000 contribution in the name of Ellen Paullin, and several checks in memory of Tom Bodine. Additionally, we received a check for $6,279.56 from the Metropolitan District Commission for overcharges on our water bill for the Maplewood Properties, for which we pay taxes. Ginny Allen was thanked for pursuing the latter item. Current checking balance is $87,797.04 adjusted for amounts not yet deposited.
We are 29% through the year and have received only 21% of budgeted income from contributions. Extra efforts to encourage contributions appear to be needed. Net expenses for the fire extinguisher vandalism in January was $500.00, our insurance deductible. Friends approved crediting the $1,000 contribution in memory of Ellen Paullin be credited to the Morningstar Fund.

Nominating Committee Report yielded to become part of the Buildings and Grounds Report.

Buildings and Grounds Ginny Allen reported that the Buildings and Grounds Committee has been restructured to include 12 or 13 members who have met twice recently, Work has been done on checking the furnaces in the Meeting House, and Ginny is reviving record keeping on maintenance tasks.

Regarding the property at 151 Maplewood, we did $30,000 worth of repairs in 1992, and $20,000 in 2000. The rent is currently $850/month, $10,200/year, and has not been raised in five years, although increases in fuel costs paid by the tenant have been significant. The bathroom is in need of immediate repair; estimates are $4800-5800. Karen Will reported similar estimates for similar work on the bathroom of 143 Maplewood. There are also problems with the chimney at 151. There was a request for authorization to fix the 151 bathroom, with the suggestion that the MDC money could be used. There was further discussion of doing both bathrooms at the same time to achieve some economy of scale.

Regarding 143 Maplewood, the Meeting spent $22,000 in 1992, and about $4000 has been spent in 2005. Regarding the line of credit for repairs and renovation on the Maplewood property, the Bank wants us to take out a mortgage. There will be an 11th hour next week with a speaker form the West Hartford Interfaith Housing coalition to describe possible sale options. Reserve funds for the two houses are a fiscal wash, +$3000 in the account for one, and -$3000 in the account for the other. Questions were raised about hiring a manager for the properties.

It is clear we need to take care of both bathrooms, because of the tenant in 151, and because we cannot sell or rent 143 without fixing the bathroom. There were suggestions that Buildings and Grounds appoint a subcommittee for the Maplewood properties. Meeting House issues and tenant relations are other concerns. It was the sense of the Meeting that 151 Maplewood was the top priority, and that we should investigate the possibility of doing both bathrooms at the same time if it would not delay the work on 151.

The Finance Committee will decide whether to accept a mortgage rather than a line of credit for further repairs.

Buildings and Grounds II A detailed list of possible repairs and renovations for the Meeting House was prepared by Chris Robinson. He also suggested priorities to the Buildings and Grounds Committee. It was suggested that the Meeting needs to establish a strategic planning process for the near and far range. The Finance Committee should figure out where the money will come from among our bequests and other assets and funds. It was agreed that we should move ahead on the Meeting House, starting with an architectural engineering inspection-perhaps by the same firm that worked on the Maplewood properties study, and that Buildings and Grounds will sort out and reconcile the multiple bids on repairs. The Finance Committee will look at the issue of rent for the 151 Maplewood house.

New Business The May Quarterly Meeting will be in Northampton on 5/1/2005. Bill Upholt will be a delegate from the Meeting, and others will be sought. A Minute on same gender marriage will be brought up at the Quarterly Meeting. A contradiction was raised by Tim Allen, who noted an early statement in the Minute that marriage was a matter between people, a Meeting and God, seemed to contradict the final sentence that urged the State to take a stand supporting same gender marriage. It was agreed that deleting the final sentence would clarify that issue. The Meeting agreed to support the Minute as clarified.

A discussion followed of what to do about the various bequests, sparked by a letter from Kiki Eglinton. The needs of the building are pressing, but so are the needs for outreach in the community. One Friend suggested using the unexpected $20,000 for immediate needs and creating an endowed fund for the balance. The cost of replacing endowment money is $3-5.00 per dollar. Interest accumulating for future needs is important. The State of the Society Report may lead to needs within the meeting as well, suggest another Friend, while a third Friend pointed out the wisdom of investing in ourselves to grow the Meeting and our impact through outreach in the community, as well as to increase housing through the Maplewood properties, something that is expensive and scarce in West Hartford. It was agreed that the Pat Ritter bequest be targeted for the kitchen renovation. It was suggested that we move on the masonry issues for the Meeting House, and take the money from the checking account, and let the Finance Committee figure out the most appropriate source for those funds to replace it in the account.

A Memorial Minutes will be written for Pat Ritter, with the participation of her family, Cynthia Reik and "the Book Club." The Memorial Minute for Tom Bodine will not be rushed, as Friends have been contacting Quaker institutions and individuals internationally. Cynthia Reik will talk to Laurel Swan and Roz Spier about their availability to work on the Minute, and to contact Jim Gould to see if Tom had prepared any material on his life. Bill Taylor has sent the obituary to US Quaker organizations and Jim Gould has contacted Friends in England and France.

Ginny Allen presented Cynthia Reik a key to the newly installed, locked mailbox outside the Meeting House.

Friends adjourned after a period of silence at 2 p.m.

Cynthia Reik, Clerk David Holdt, Recording Clerk

Treasurer’s Report—4/17/05 -from Tim Allen
As of April 17, we are 29% through the year, but we have received only 21 % of the individual contributions to the General Fund that we have budgeted. Comparison to past years: 2003: $17,575 (26% of $67,200 for year)
2004: $11,406 (19% of $59,800 for year)
2005: $13,918 (21% of budget: $66,000)

Our net expense for the vandalism in January (release of fire extinguisher downstairs) was $500, our insurance deductible.

FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE HARTFORD MEETING ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED
PLEASE MAILTO ASSISTANT TREASURER:
RUTH ALEXANDER, 22 CARPENTER LANE, BLOOMFIELD, CT 06002.